Experiences
Halie
Helping other people warms my heart, and I’m really passionate about it. I felt like I’d screwed up but CareNZ helped me without judgment and put me in the right direction.
I was terrified at the time because I felt like I needed help desperately, but I was scared I would lose my baby if anyone knew how bad things were for me.
No-one knew and I was running out of doctors and money and I was taking too much and I was scared.
I felt so bad about how I was living. I went in and out of meetings for six years. I couldn’t get it together until eventually after overdosing I had this experience where I had this tiny window of reality. I knew desperately that I needed help to change my life.
I learnt how to live again and how to manage my feelings. And I stayed clean and kept reaching out for help. I really got to grow myself up with support. The most important part was being able to be there for my children again. Being a mother to my children is the best gift recovery has given me.
My feelings ran my life. If I felt sad I’d need someone, if I felt angry I needed someone to blame. I needed to take control of my life, to take responsibility. So that’s what I do here. I give people a way forward through offering a new perspective and path. One foot in front of the other, it's possible.
Lennie
I can go into a pub now and have a glass of coke. I’ve come across old friends who wanted to shout me beer and stuff but I don’t go there. I just tell them the truth. I say – no thanks mate, I’ve stopped drinking.
My daughter’s birthday was just on Saturday – her 21st. They were all a bit unsure how I’d cope with the alcohol around. And I thought to myself – you know, it doesn’t matter where I go, it’s always going to be there. I wanted to do it for her and show her I didn’t have to have a drink.
I’m interested in getting into learning Te Reo Maori. All my kids know it but when I was young I wasn’t really interested. I was more interested in drinking a lot.
You get to a stage in the programme where you have to be a leader and talk and that was mean. We all bounce off each other and bring support to each other. It’s like being a part of something that's positive.
My days aren’t long any more. Just as long as I make someone smile, and go to work and do what I have to do. Finally I’ve got food in the cupboard instead of making my kids go without. And now I’m doing the other life, I call it.
My mother-in-law knew I had always loved my alcohol. When she passed away It was the first time I actually stood up in the Marae and told the whanau that I was an alcoholic and it was from that time on, I’m not ashamed.
Linda
I bring a voice that provides an alternative for young people and may encourage them to make other choices around substances.
A lot of it is about building that relationship with a young person – about getting to know who they are and what they want from the process. We offer all the students a comprehensive assessment so that they can have that information about where their drug or alcohol use is at and then can make some informed choices.
Some are quite shocked by where their level of use is at, because often they’re coming from a family culture of use or a peer culture of use and they think this is quite normal. So it gives them some information in contrast with that.
Living in a small community, there are some students that have engaged really well with the process and have gone on to do really amazing things. You know, those are successes.